Spiritual Voyages

Published by Guideposts Books, who owns first rights to my writing, this five-minute read is based on how spiritual teachers impact our lives.

Read below for how my best friend, Kathy – and her loving, pastoral counsel supported me during turbulent times.

Looking at my disheveled reflection in the mirror, I thought to myself, “What a sight you are!”

My double-mindedness kept me tossing and turning at night; sleep eluded me due to the enormity of the issue.

For weeks I wrestled. But try as I might, I couldn’t figure out how to move forward. 

Mind you, I tried to “reason with God.”  For hours, I poured out my complaint in prayer, but I was still betwixt and between. 

Uncertain. Confused and indecisive. These words described me well.

I was so afraid I was going to make God mad if I made the wrong decision.

Having a history of being a “people-pleaser”, my adult brain still had a child-like, default setting. “Make sure you don’t upset the authority in charge,” was the accusatory message.

I knew the scriptures touted, “God hates divorce” and that Christians are urged to be true to their spouses “till death do we part,” but the words of Malachi 2:15 grabbed my attention.  

“What is God’s will when your husband breaks faith with the wife of his youth?”

“How does one respond to a husband who is unfaithful and seemingly unrepentant to reconcile with his wife?”

Determined to ‘stand on my marriage vows,’ I wrestled in prayer with this inner conflict for months, making several unwise moves.

One day I would call and make an appointment with a divorce attorney, the next I would cancel. Over the years, I did this three times and lost a substantial amount of money as I backed out of legal contracts.

Internally conflicted, I mused, “This situation of my spouse cheating gives me “an out” to divorce my husband,”  but with hesitation, I dissented, “what if this is not God’s heart?”

I recalled the story of Hosea where the prophet was commanded to take to himself Gomer, a wife of harlotry, to prove the point that God  would give his people seeking other [spiritual] lovers a second chance to return to Him – their “First Love.”

I have a prophetic call on my life so this concept really hit home.

I contemplated, “Could God be calling me (like Hosea), to stand on the covenant of marriage, despite the obvious infidelity?”

After being distraught and in a double-bind about how to move forward, God answered my desperate prayer by sending Kathy to knock on my front door.  

Although I had only met her once at a church revival function, God sent her to me to come alongside as I journeyed through 12 years of waiting for closure in my marriage.

“Hi,” she smiled as I opened the front door, “God just brought your face to mind as I was driving home.”

She didn’t remember my name but God reminded her about my contact information she obediently put in her phone when we first met.

Unbeknownst to her, Kathy was passing by my house on her way to and from work.

Neither of us expected that we would become the dearest of friends (even still, to this day, thirty-five years later) and that God was pronouncing a divine intervention on my behalf.

Kathy came prepared and equipped: she had a shepherd’s kind heart, plus she walked through a divorce 15 years previously.

Her story brought me solace as I prayerfully considered how to handle my marital turbulence.

She retold her Godly encounters by reiterating the benevolent exchange.

“Where is the Kathy I fashioned?” Inquired the Lord to my pastoral friend.

“You have been (re)made in the image of another man….your devotion to your husband is almost idolatrous. Bowing down to his every single, selfish wish is not serving me. He will not change. I know his heart. You are free to leave him.”

For about a year and a half, roughly three times weekly Kathy would come for dinner and I would listen to her stories of grace. 

Our divine encounters continued. 

Kathy’s conversations were antidotes of grace. I needed them to learn about God’s unmerited favor towards me. 

Far too long I was blindsided, rammed under a self-imposed judgment of the law – trying to please God through my works and being blown in every different direction.

While I believe Kathy’s story of being released from her marriage is not the “rule” – but rather the “exception,”  as I listened to Kathy’s testimony, I learned that “submission” is not a command for the wife to blindly capitulate to their husband.

Suffice it to say, in the time that I waited upon the Lord to heal my marriage, I learned that God could heal my (childhood) fear of abandonment and rejection.

Today I realize that as a wife, when I submit to my husband, it is supposed to “be as unto the Lord.

 Kathy’s consultation during times of prayer (for inner healing and deliverance) was most notably a big part of my success story.

In May of 2012, after waiting more than ten years, I finally signed the divorce papers my ex-spouse presented me.

As of May 2026, I will be able to celebrate eleven years of a happy marriage to husband number two – God’s gift for me.

Kathy is almost seventy-five years old; she is still going to whomever God sends her to.

Kathy never re-married. She currently lives in California (near her daughter) and continues to  loving people into wholeness.

Even in her older age, my dearest Kathy shines brightly with  the light of Christ Jesus. I will be forever grateful for her unselfish time,  talent and energy she gave from the riches of her pastoral well.