Spiritual Voyages

Guideposts owns first rights to this story about my best friend, Kathy, who supported me when I was walking through a difficult time during my first marriage – and subsequent divorce.

It was a confusing and tumultuous time for me, but as Kathy walked alongside me in this grievous season, life was more bearable,

I hope this article encourages others who are going through a difficult time.

I looked at my disheveled reflection in the mirror. What a sight you are! I thought.

For weeks I’d been wrestling with the enormity of the issue. But try as I might, I couldn’t figure out how to move forward. 

I tried to reason with God. For hours each day, I poured out my complaint in prayer, but I was still betwixt and between. Uncertain. Confused and indecisive. These words described me well.I’m afraid I’m going to make God mad if I make the wrong decision.

I have been a people pleaser my whole life, and my adult brain still had a child-like, default setting. “Make sure you don’t upset the authority in charge,” was the accusatory message I heard more times than I could count.

Christians are urged to be true to their spouses “till death do you part.” But the words of Malachi 2:15 grabbed my attention. What is God’s will when your husband “is unfaithful with the wife of his youth?” How does one respond to a husband who is unfaithful and seemingly unrepentant to reconcile with his wife?

Determined to stand on my marriage vows, I wrestled in prayer with this inner conflict for months, making several unwise moves. One day I would call and make an appointment with a divorce attorney, the next I would cancel. Over the years, I did this three times and lost a substantial amount of money as I backed out of legal contracts.

I mused that this situation of my spouse cheating gave me an out to divorce him, but with hesitation, I wondered if that wasGod’s heart.

I recalled the story of Hosea, the prophet who God commanded to take Gomer, a harlot, as his wife to prove the point that He would give His people seeking other [spiritual] lovers a second chance to return to Him—their “first love.”

I feel that I have a prophetic call on my life, so this concept really hit home. Could God be calling me (like Hosea) to stand on the covenant of marriage, despite the obvious infidelity?

After being distraught and uncertain about how to move forward, God answered my desperate prayer by sending me His angel. Although I had only met Kathy once at a church revival function, God sent her to guide me as I journeyed through twelve years of waiting for closure in my marriage.

That day when I opened the door to a knock, I heard “Hi. God just brought your face to mind as I was driving home.”

Kathy stood there. Although she didn’t remember my name, she had obediently put it in her phone when we’d first met. And while she was passing by my house on the way home from work, God told her to stop.

Kathy came prepared and equipped: she had a shepherd’s kind heart, plus she’d walked through a divorce fifteen years previously. Like me, Kathy had struggled with her decision, but relied on God’s wisdom and guidance.

Her story brought me solace as I prayerfully considered how to handle my marital turbulence.

After that day, Kathy would come for dinner about three times a week. For about a year and a half, I listened to her stories of grace. 

For far too long I was blindsided, rammed under self-judgment as I struggled with a decision that would please God. I came to realize that Kathy’s stories helped me learn about God’s unmerited favor toward me.

In May of 2012, after waiting more than ten years, I finally signed the divorce papers my ex-spouse presented me. And in May 2015, I married my second husband, who is truly a gift from God.

Kathy is almost seventy-five years old and now lives in California near her daughter. There is no doubt in my mind that she continues to minister to people God puts in her path.